Quoting Dave Pell – Tuck Off
In a move that has everyone from viewers to industry insiders asking, What the actual Tuck?, Fox News has parted ways with Tucker Carlson. The move is obviously connected to the tuck-load of cash Fox just lost in the Dominion lawsuit. Even with that tuck-ton payout, it’s a total mindtuck to see Carlson Murdoch’d in cold blood and told to get the tuck out by a network that, when it comes to truth in reporting, has always maintained a clear policy of zero tucks given. We know this is about money since Fox never told Carlson to go tuck himself, even as he became the embodiment of a tucking white nationalist racist tuckhead. While those who give a flying tuck about reality (including those few within the Fox news empire) are likely shouting, “Tuck Yeah,” it’s worth noting that the network has tucked with us before. Folks celebrated when the o’dious Bill O’Reilly was tucked over by Fox for trying to turn half the company into his tuck buddies, but before we could even enjoy the sound of him being forced to shut the tuck up, he was replaced by Carlson, and things were even more tucked up beyond repair. Tuck is not everlasting, but the Murdoch’s willingness to lie and manipulate most definitely is. I know it’s tucked up, but I’m not going to tuck with you. This headline from The Atlantic mirrors my exact tucking reaction to today’s news: Tucker’s Successor Will Be Worse. (And I’m sure Tucker Carlson will end up making even more money somewhere else, assuming he doesn’t mind being paid in Rubles.)